Clutter

A common theme between home, work, and pretty much everywhere I make a base for myself is clutter.  I have a knack of putting things in places they don't belong, mainly because I've never taken the time to create a place for everything.  I have sentimental knick-knacks next to computer parts and repair tools and office supplies.  I have gifts for people I meant to give them months ago next to blank CDs, DVDs, and a flashlight.  I have a rack of MiniDV tapes I'm never going to touch again sitting next to books on my bookshelf.

Work is no better.  It's not that I don't want to be organized, or that I don't try, because I do want to, and I do try to.  Half of the time I put things in various places to "deal with later" because I'm too lazy to do it at the time.  Eventually I go on a "cleaning" spree, which results in just moving things around so that it looks less cluttered, but everything is still there.  I wouldn't call myself a hoarder, because I do eventually realize I'm never going to use something, and get rid of it.  I'm just prone to cluttering.

I guess it shouldn't surprise me though.  I put things "away" like I store things in my brain.  If my brain were a storage room, it'd be full of piles.  There'd be plenty of shelves and filing cabinets and things, but nothing would be sorted.  It's just how I work, I think.  I typically bounce around topics with no segue in between them, because that's how they're stacked in my head.  Occasionally I mentally re-arrange them, and throw out the thoughts and memories I don't need anymore, but for the most part, I just shuffle them from one pile to another.

If I were smart, which apparently I'm not, I would have been dusting off surfaces as I clear them and before putting things back on them.  Whoops.  Next time?  Ha.

Hm, another song in iTunes I've never played, nor heard before.  I give you Christina Perri' "Jar of Hearts":

Yesterday Is Just a Memory

I know time is constant, but sometimes it just feels like it moves faster than others. October feels like it was blinked away. I remember doing a bunch of things, but I feel like I paid October's rent yesterday, and November's today. Somewhere in there were five Fridays, five Saturdays, and five Sundays though. Crazy.

I'm amazed at how long I've known some people, and how much my friendships and relationships have changed in that time. In the last decade I've gained a lot of friends and lost quite a few. Although I wouldn't say I lost them so much as the friendships just sort of fizzled, as they do. I read an article not too long about how social networks are messing with our normal friendship cycles. We're meant to gain and lose friends; it's part of life. But with social networks, we no longer say goodbye. We just keep our former friends just a reach away, although now they're more of acquaintances, even though we used to talk to them daily and knew everything about them. It's kind of saddening.

Not as saddening though as the number of people I can't be friends with anymore, because they've left us. Sunday I learned of yet another person from my past who passed away, and while I was somewhat sad about it, I hadn't talked to her in 7 years. It was more of a reminder of the people who were closer to me that have died recently.

Death, like time, is also a constant, and for some it just comes sooner than it does for others. That's just the way it is, and the way it will be, unless the various religions have some truth to them. If they do, great. If not, well, what will it matter? We'll be dead.

Vertical Horizon - I'm Still Here:

That Kind of Night

From Vangelis's 1995 album Voices, with vocals by Stina Nordenstam, here is "Ask the Mountains":

One is Bliss

Making an unwise choice because you don't know better can be chalked up to ignorance.  Making an unwise choice when you do know better is being stupid.  I think I saved myself from making a stupid choice today.  I just hope I can keep myself from still making that stupid choice.

Unrelated, heard a song today I thought I'd share.  Here's "Mine to Remember", by WAZ.  I've never heard of WAZ before, but I intend to hear more.

Best Face Forward

Whenever I get in the mood to change my photo on my various social networking sites, I can never find one I like enough to use.  This has led me to discover that my apartment is not an interesting place to take self-portrait photos.  Which means I need to work on obtaining a good new photo.  Maybe I'll do something at work which has a couple of interesting spots, or use a friend or such to get something done.  I don't even like the photos of me from events, because I'm either making some weird goofy face or it's me and at least one other person in the photo.

If you haven't heard the band Blind Pilot, you need to.  If you have, then you will enjoy hearing them again.  I give you "One Red Thread".

Where I Am Free

do you want to see it?
the place where i am free
'cause in my mind i've been there
and there's no one here but me

In a tweet today, Wil Wheaton wished his followers a wonderful weekend and closed with "don't sacrifice the journey for the destination."  I'll get there, someday, and I'll enjoy the process.

Augustana - Twenty Years:

Written By

A couple of weeks ago, or maybe it was only a week ago, my coworker asked me why I wasn't working towards my desire to be a writer by writing for a small project our company is working for.  Not having a good answer, I approached my boss about it, and she was optimistic.  Today the producer running the project shot me an email with a script to re-write.  That's sort of what this project entails for now, rewriting previous segments.  So I'm excited about this, and nervous at the same time as it's something different and challenging.  But, I'm confident that I can do a good job so long as I have proper guidance to start.  I'm not gonna get it right the first time all on my own, and that's quite alright with me.

Pandora keeps introducing me to awesome music.  Seabird is a recent discovery thanks to it, although the band isn't really that new.  They're Christian alternative, according to Wikipedia, but so far I haven't heard anything that screams Jesus.  Here's an interesting song that's appropriately titled "Apparitions".